Joggi's Ground Rules

You are what you eat: Loew, it seems, has taken the old adage seriously and put his players on a strict diet to keep them in shape for the European Championships in Austria and Switzerland this June.

The service teams at the Germans' training camp in Mallorca and their hotel in Ascona, Switzerland, have reportedly been instructed not to provide the national players with room service under any circumstances, lest the players sneakily attempt to order a beer or -- gasp! -- chips.

"Of course we trust the players," team manager Oliver Bierhoff said, according to the AFP news agency. "The mini bar is filled with fruit juices and water."

But after a strenuous soccer game, who wouldn't die for a nice cold beer? Germany's national drink, after all, flowed copiously in the locker room after wins in the World Cup, as seen in "Deutschland. Ein Sommermaerchen," a documentary that followed the team during the 2006 tournament.

In addition to the omnipresent alcohol, discos, bars and nightclubs are also off limits to players on the night before a game, said Loew, who without any children of his own, seemed to be protecting his players from the destructive ways of the world.

Bierhoff, however, said the new list of verboten activities had more to do with an employer's expectations than paternalism.

"Anyone who is out until the early hours of the morning isn't taking their job seriously," Bierhoff added.

Team officials are hoping that this kind of Teutonic dedication that will help German succeed in the quest to claim their fourth European Championship title this summer.