Bundesliga Season 2012-13: The flops

Former German national goalkeeper Tim Wiese left Werder Bremen for nouveau riche Hoffenheim this summer with the express aim of qualifying for international competition. Poor performances and late-night drunken escapades meant that the only place he went was the stands. This could have been a career-ending season.

Defender Marvin Compper made hasty exit from Hoffenheim last January after admitting his heart wasn’t in a relegation battle. While a small part of us wants to laud the German for his honesty, a much bigger part of us thinks that’s no way for a former national team player to behave. He now rides the bench for Fiorentina in Italy.

For a stretch of a few weeks this season Assani Lukimya (here being hugged byZlato Junuzovic) couldn’t stop scoring own goals or making comical passes that were essentially own goals. He also had the dubious distinction of picking up a red card as an 89th minute substitute. The defender was a major factor as Bremen went winless in their last twelve matches.

Czech defender Theodor Gebre Selassie (right) didn’t particularly impress at last summer’s European Championship so perhaps his name was the reason Werder Bremen brought him in. The irony, though, is that the fullback has little of his near namesake Haile Gebrselassie’s speed, which is one reason Bremen had the worst defense in the Bundesliga.

Who's the worst defender who regularly played in the Bundesliga? According to kicker magazine, it's Michael Mancienne. Hamburg's Englishman picked up only one yellow card in 21 games – a sure sign that a defender is either brilliant or usually out of position. In Mancienne's case, it was most probably the latter.

20-year-old Granit Xhaka from Switzerland was touted as one of Europe’s hot young prospects when he arrived in Mönchengladbach last summer, but his play was nowhere near as cool as his name. One goal and no assists is a meager return for an offensive midfielder in 22 appearances. Xhaka needs a lot more boom next campaign.

As recently as 2010, Marcel Schäfer was playing for the German national team. Now the Wolfsburg midfielder is lucky if he can even get a late substitute appearance for one of the Bundesliga's most disappointing sides. Schäfer turns 29 this summer, and you can't help but think the Wolves wouldn't mind putting him out to pasture.

After bombing at Juventus, Eljero Elia (left) headed to Bremen to regroup, but the Dutch winger only had a single goal and ended the season suspended. He and teammate Marco Arnautovic had a wee-hours altercation with the Autobahn police. And if you're at a rest stop with bad boy Arnautovic at 3am, you’re not discussing tactics.

Don't get us wrong. We love Gerald Asamoah. "Blondie" was always our favorite when he played for Germany. But some players don't know when to quit. And Asamoah, who turns 35 this year, should have quit last summer rather ending his wonderful career watching from the stands at woeful Greuther Fürth.

Not so long ago Stuttgart paid 4.5 million euros for William Kvist (left), and DFB propaganda hailed him as a strategic genius. Now Stuttgart would be lucky to get a cent for the Danish midfielder, after he recorded a grand total of no goals and no assists in 25 appearances. Too defensive, says understated coach Bruno Labbadia.

One measly point separated Fortuna Düsseldorf from possible non-relegation, and veteran striker Andrey Voronin (right) was the sort of player brought in to get those big points. Unfortunately, the Ukrainian didn't get on with his coach, started only six matches and ended up suspended, with but a lone assist to show for a wasted season.

Finally, we give a collective spot in our team of 2012-13 disappointment to the entire Greuther Fürth front line. You don’t need to look far to see why the Southern Germans ended up dead last and were relegated weeks before the season's end: 21 goals in 34 matches. Fürth also became the only Bundesliga team ever not to win at home.